Life After Divorce – Walking The Talk

Get your life back after divorce – walking the talk!

Now I get to review everything I wrote in the ebook, How To Get YOUR Life Back On Track After Divorce.

I wrote the book a few years ago, after helping many families with special needs children find their way through relationship endings and many other crises.

I had been divorced myself nearly 25 years ago, and to be honest I wasn’t expecting to be doing it all again!

But what an opportunity!  I do believe life is full of opportunities, they come in various guises and many make you cry before you laugh.

Back to the book –  this is how chapter 1 begins,

Chapter 1

10 VERY HARD THINGS TO BEGIN WITH.

Don’t go for a quick fix.

Believe in yourself.

Don’t worry, get busy.

Be creative.

Do something physical.

Relax or meditate every day.

Help other people.

Get a pet.  Terms and conditions apply!

Keep in touch with old friends.

Make new friends.

 

How am I doing?

Don’t go for a quick fix – don’t think that getting into a new relationship will solve your problems.

You’ll simply be preoccupied and learn nothing from the experience – right.

Right.

I’m over sixty now, so leaping into another relationship isn’t that high on my agenda- looking at what went wrong is.

This split up is about money – I’m a saver and budgeter, he is a spender.

Essentially he wants to be free to spend his money how he likes without being accountable to anyone.

He says, I made him feel guilty about spending money. Yes, I probably did, especially when it came to taking on debt and clearing out our savings account to buy a very expensive car.

Of course, I was angry, of course there was a row and now there will be a divorce.

We were always very different in our attitudes to money, it was OK, but only OK when we were both working, but when we went down to one income it was too much for him to contemplate budgeting and sharing.

The lesson, I think, is that where attitudes to money are very different, get a plan in place from day one. If one or other can’t stick to the plan you will probably be heading for trouble.

I see now that he treated my income as ‘ours’, and his income as his.

I also see now that I am a ‘we’ person and he is a ‘me’ person.

No, I didn’t see that clearly, on some level I was aware of it, but other things probably balanced it out.

So, I have learned the hard way. Money, or how you deal with it can cause a divorce. It is very hard to change your beliefs about money.

Should I ever venture into another relationship I’ll make sure that money issues are well explored and agreed upon before any commitments are made.

Next – Believe in Yourself, check back in a few days or so for the next instalment.

 

 



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