STOP doing these 5 things and save your relationship.

Stop Doing These 5 Things – Save Your Relationship.
• Stop put-downs
• Stop arguing
• Stop blaming
• Stop putting your head in the sand
• Stop doing your dirty laundry in public
Start Doing These 5 Things – You’ll Be Happier Than You’ve Ever Been.
• Recognise exactly what it is your partner needs to feel loved.
• Accept responsibility
• Use the element of surprise
• Train your memory
• Do the daily love dance
Part 1.
Stop Putdowns.
You don’t have to open your mouth to put someone down. Sadly we tend to reserve our ‘best’ put downs for our nearest and dearest.
Do you even know what a putdown is?
Of course you do, you’ve been putdown, you know the feeling, the sinking feeling, the lead weight in your stomach feeling, the stinging in your eyes feeling. You just forget that when you put your partner down it makes him feel just as bad.
You know the ‘look’, the pursed mouth the rolled back eyes.
You know the comments, they usually begin with something like, “You’re always the same….” Or maybe, “Did you even go to school?….”
You’ll know your own favourites, but do you know just how hurtful they are?
Unkind words can replay in someone’s head for years, maybe for the rest of their lives, slowly eating away at their self-esteem and confidence.
Putdowns are bad habits, you can train yourself to stop using putdowns and you can train your partner to do the same. The next time you feel a putdown coming on take a deep breath and either say nothing, change it to something positive or offer to help if you can.
Next time your partner puts you down, repeat it back to her, tell her how you feel and ask if that’s what she intended. Chances are she was venting frustration rather than seeking to cause major damage, but that’s the trouble with put-downs, said in an instant, cut like a knife.
Take some time out with your partner, explore the putdowns you use, be honest about how they make each of you feel. Agree that you will both do your best to stop using putdowns and make a pact to apologise immediately if you slip up.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much fun you can have avoiding putdowns – and how much better your relationship will be.



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