Feeling Lonely?

The More You Give The More You Receive.

The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well being. (His Holiness The Dalai Lama),

Because I often work with divorced and separated people loneliness is a topic that often crops up. Finding yourself living alone, finding yourself the only adult in the house, either of these things can leave you feeling lonely. Yet, as I have mentioned before being alone is not the same as being lonely, you can live alone yet not feel lonely. You can live in a house full of people and feel lonely.

I think the above quote from ‘The Little Book Of Wisdom’  helps to differentiate the two. The more we care for the happiness of others the better we will feel about ourselves. Caring about the happiness of others immediately takes you out of yourself, you might just write a letter to a friend or relative, or these days it could be a text or email, but done with the intention of sending happiness to the other person it will help you get your life back too.

You may be shy and feel that you cannot go out to clubs etc. by yourself, but you can volunteer to help a local organisation, you can go along to help other people, and by doing that you will make them happy and feel better about yourself – you will also make some friends.

I wrote a short course a few years ago, it was entitled, “Be an Angel For A Day”, the course was aimed at opening people to the opportunities around for them for connecting with others, putting a smile on people’s faces, helping people out – whether they knew it or not.

One of the best parts was when everyone in the room had to come up with a ‘gift’ they could give anonymously, e.g. put a coin in a parking meter, leave a box of groceries at the door of an elderly person or young family, cut the neighbours lawn while they are out at work, rescue someone’s laundry from the rain, share some garden produce, the list went on and on.

The next activity was to come up with a gift that you could give to someone, that didn’t cost anything but your time. Some of the same ideas came up but so did a whole lot of new ones, e.g. babysitting, going to the supermarket for an elderly person, volunteering in a range of organisations, reading the paper to an elderly person, accompanying an elderly or infirm person on a shopping trip, organising a play day for your friends and relatives children, walk someone’s dog for them, feed it while they are on holiday, this list also went on and on.

The point is that doing any of these ‘giving’ things taps in to universal unconditional love for your fellow beings. You may be alone, but involving yourself in these kinds of activities will go a long way towards dispelling feelings of loneliness.

Try it!



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