Fat, Fifty and Single.

What a way to the start a new year. My first appointment of the year has just had a Christmas bombshell. Her husband chose the family meal on Christmas day to say he was leaving – and he did!

Pretty dramatic stuff I’d say. The lady concerned and her two daughters and their families were stunned. As far as any of them knew there was nothing untoward going on. Fred, not his real name, is 54, has a good job, seems to have enjoyed life with his family, bought himself a BMW motor bike about a year ago, hasn’t been ill, hasn’t been behaving differently, although, on reflection, his wife said that he had been a bit quiet, maybe even withdrawn over the last few months. He hasn’t been keen to socialise with friends other than going for bike rides with his ‘oldies bike club’, my words not hers!

For me most of what she said tells me that her husband is having a mid-life crisis. Many men find the thought of losing their youth and vigour too much to cope with and unlike women they don’t talk about it. It’s the old cave v. campfire thing. Men retreat into their caves while women talk their issues through with other women.

Many men find it very difficult to talk about their worries or how they are feeling so they brood and brood and then break out. Fred has broken out, he thinks he can regain or retain his youth and vigour by stepping away from his old life and making a new one.

However, Fred is not my problem, his wife Trish has come to me for help, she wants to get her life back on track.

It’s nearly a month since Fred left, he has been in touch with a forwarding address but Trish doesn’t feel like being in touch with him. She says, I can see how bored we both were, but I didn’t realise it, you just get on with the daily grind, go to work, shop, cook, visit family, watch t.v. go to bed get up, maybe go out for lunch or coffee at the weekend, then do it all again.

I can see where I’m at, I’ve let myself go, I’ve let my life go, I’m fat, fifty and single, I have no hobbies, I have no ambitions, I don’t know where to begin to get my life back.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you’ll know that I’m keen on simplifying things down into 10 Tips. Then we can go into detail and build on each tip. Here are Trish’s 10 Tips to get her life back on track.

  1. Change what you think about.
  2. Create a new picture of yourself – literally.
  3. Change your daily routine.
  4. Include at least one new activity or interest in your week.
  5. Spend time with a friend once every week.
  6. Book a holiday.
  7. Review your diet.
  8. Clear out your wardrobe
  9. Get your hair restyled

10. Have a make-up make over.

Trish has booked 10 sessions with me, once every two weeks for the next 5 months.

After chatting to her she has decided to tackle her weight and fitness as a priority. Our first task will be to change her sub-conscious perception of what she should look and feel like. Our minds get very comfortable with routine, they get lazy, just like our bodies. When you exercise after a period of inactivity your muscles complain, they ache. Your mind objects too to any change you try to impose, it doesn’t ache, it starts sabotaging your efforts.

This is how it goes,

  • “you might as well give up now, you’ll never be slim”
  • Don’t go for a walk tonight, you are too tired.
  • Have a cake, one won’t make any difference. And on it goes.

Trish is determined to get her life back on track so she will have to be strong enough to deal with the little voices in her head.

Follow Trish’s journey, I’ll keep you in touch with her triumphs and struggles over the next five months.

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