Lonely At Christmas.


Divorced, separated or single, looking forward to Christmas, maybe maybe not. Christmas can be a blessing or a bind depending on how your social or family relationships stack up.
People have all kinds of expectations about Christmas, mostly about what other people should or should not do.
Who had dinner at their house last year, who’s house should it be in this year. Who do you buy presents for, how much should you spend. Who must you visit and so it goes on. Families and couples can fall apart at Christmas mainly because of expectations and poor communication.
‘Should’, ‘must’ and expectations always lead to trouble!
You may feel disappointed that you don’t get invited out for dinner, you may not get the presents you hoped for, certain people may not have visited you – these are all expectations of things you hoped would happen. My guess is that you didn’t communicate your wishes to anyone.
Christmas is a time of year when families and friends expect to get together, trouble is they don’t always organise it very well and someone somewhere will be left out.
These are my Christmas Rules.
Don’t expect anything.
Don’t expect anyone to visit you or invite you out.
Organise a few things to suit yourself.
Spend some time helping out with the Salvation Army or in an old people’s residence or perhaps your local animal shelter.
Seriously, if you live alone and think you might be lonely at Christmas get busy and organise yourself.
Invite some friends around for drinks – ask them when they might be free, could they come in the evening or would some other time suit them better, if you ask enough people you’ll be sure to get a few people that will join you.
Go to church in the morning, you don’t have to be religious to enjoy the Christmas story and sing some carols.
Help serve Christmas lunch to homeless people or old people in care.
Volunteer to take some of your friends children on a Christmas Treasure hunt after lunch. O.K. so you will have to prepare it in advance – that’s fun too. Contact me for details if you need some ideas.
Find out what Christmas events are happening in your area and go along.
Christmas will be what you make it, if you have family you can invite them all to your home or ask one of your family if you might join them at some point in the day.
Don’t get into debt!
If you can’t or won’t do any of the above book yourself on a mini cruise that will take you away from home and into organised activities for a few days.
Handling loneliness at Christmas is the same as handling loneliness at any other time of year, you have to manage you time and what you will do with it. Sitting around waiting for people to beat a path to your door might work some of the time, getting yourself out there to meet and help other people will work every time.
Remember being alone is not the same as being lonely. Also remember that thoughts affect feelings. If you think you are having a lonely time you’ll feel a bit down and sad. If you think, I’m alone, I’ll do some things I enjoy you’ll feel a whole lot better.
If you’d like to know more about how thoughts affect feelings and vice versa collect your free 21 day course and live a life you’ll love.



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