Do I Really Have to Share My Bed with You?

I’m always interested to notice that once I’ve posted a topic on my blog people I meet want to tell me their stories about that subject. Lately I’ve been writing about menopause and how it can affect your relationships. I’m going to share with you some of the things that have come up in recent conversations.

Susan – “I don’t think it’s menopause that kills sex in a relationship so much as letting things slip generally. I’ve been married to the same guy for 36 years, he used to be a gentleman now he’s Neanderthal. If I’m going to have sex with a guy I want him to give me a little romance before we get down to it, I want him to be fresh from the shower, I need to hear that he loves me. This is what I get these days, he doesn’t know I exist until he can’t find something, then he wants to know what I’ve done with it. Romance, what a laugh, this person I share my home with thinks it’s O.K. to pick his nose and wipe the result on his shirt – that I wash! He also thinks it’s O.K to clear his throat and spit in my presence and passing gas in bed seems to have become the norm. No, it’s not menopause that kills sex, it’s men themselves. Menopause just saves women from becoming too frustrated, there is very little that is attractive or sexy about a middle aged man that has let himself go.”

Yes, some women do let themselves ‘go’, but Susan certainly takes care of her appearance and fitness. Another person commented to me that she and her husband have slipped into a rut that is so deep she thinks the only way out is to move on. They are so set in their ways that they hardly need to speak to each other! I suggested that she make reservations for a weekend away, pack his bag, get him into the car and blast her way out of the rut!

Leaving may well be the end result but when couples have a lifetime of love and experience together, to say nothing of family, surely revival is worth a try.

Make a list of three things you used to enjoy doing together and DO them over the next three weeks.
Then make a list of three things you would like to do – and DO them, over the following three weeks, that makes six weeks where you will spend some quality time together doing things that you both enjoy – invest six weeks in getting your relationship back on track – let me know how you get along!

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