Who can help after divorce?

Make sure your Family, boss and close friends know what is happening so that they understand if you need time off work or extra help.

It takes time to settle into your different life after a divorce or split up. Friends and family will likely be willing to help, although some friends may be noticeable by their absence. When a couple splits up some friends feel more loyalty to one partner than the other, some just feel awkward and are not sure how to relate to either party.

What about your boss and colleagues at work, should you tell them?  Some of them will already know what is going on, we all have one or two friends at work, and while your business is just that it does help if the people you work with are aware of your circumstances, you don’t need to go into detail, just let them know the bare facts. You will find your boss and colleagues are more sympathetic if you need time off or have to leave early if you have kept them in the picture.

Family and friends can be a great help with children reassuring them of their place in their wider social network as well as minding them for you while you try to get your life back on track.

There will be times when you need to be alone just as there will be times when you will crave company, your good friends and family will be willing to help you through these times – let them help. You will simply put yourself under  more stress by trying to cope by yourself with your emotional roller coaster as well as the practicalities of organising your new life.

If you find you are suffering from sleeplessness or poor health go and see your health practitioner. Stress can cause all sorts of ailments from symptoms that seem like a common cold through to stomach ulcers and heart complaints, don’t delay, if you are not feeling well, get help. Your doctor can also refer you for counselling services if you feel this would be helpful to you.

The end of a relationship can severely rock your confidence, you may go through periods of blaming yourself, and possibly some of the responsibility is yours, but just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to argue.

Where one door closes another door opens. You may not feel as though life has much to offer at the moment, but you now have the opportunity to pursue your life in another direction. It will take some time until you feel settled enough to begin planning for the future, however, you shouldn’t leave it for too long, planning ahead and setting some realistic goals can help pull you through the black days.

Spend some time thinking about the life you dreamed of when you were in your teens, have you achieved that life? Are there some things you were passionate about then that have slipped by the wayside?  Divide your time among the following things, family, friends, career, chores, health and fitness, hobbies, community and some time to spoil yourself. Finding the balance will allow you to nurture yourself while maintaining your family and social life and manage your career. Spending time with a range people in different situations will help you rebuild your social life and confidence.

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