Life After Divorce – Keep the Past in it’s Place.


Are you finding your mind going over and over the last few months or possibly years?
Are you continuously searching for answers? It is easy to get caught up in raking over the past.
You can learn from past mistakes and it is useful to reflect on what has happened in the past, however it is important to keep the past in it’s place.
Moving on after any upset or traumatic experience is a combination of resolving the past and planning for the future while making the most of the present.
Making the most of the present is the most difficult thing to do, it requires focus and determination, to keep on track.
There are certain things that have to be done, the practical and legal things, these are things that it’s easy to get help with. Your solicitor will help you through the legalities of your spilt and your friends will help you move house if you have to.
You will have to take charge of planning how your life will be from here on in.
Answering these questions will help you make a plan for the future.
Where will you live?
What is your new financial position?
Will you have custody of your children?
Do you need to replace any furniture or appliances?
If you were abused in your relationship have you arranged counselling? It is well know that people often repeat patterns of behaviour, some women go from one abusive partner to another – make sure this isn’t you.
Do you need help to explain things to your children?
O.K., that’s the hard stuff, you also need to plan in some good stuff.
How will the split affect your social life? Put some social activities in your plan.
When are you going to have time to spoil yourself?
Start a pension plan, put what you have in a trust so that you can’t lose it in the future. Knowing that your future financial situation will be secure will be of great comfort to you.
What activities or interests are you going to take up?
Make a weekly plan that gives you a balance of work and play, it really will help you through the grey days. Keep the ‘W’s in proportion to the ‘P’s You should try to have more ‘P’s than ‘W’s
‘W’s = worries and work ‘P’s = pleasure and passion.
What gives you pleasure and what are you passionate about? Do something you are passionate about at least once every week and do something that gives you pleasure every day.
Put time frames around the hard stuff and reward yourself for your achievements with the good stuff.



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