Are You Living with a Sex Addict?

I recently came across a book called “Out of the Shadows” by Dr. Patrick Carnes.
I thought I’d share a couple of quotes from his book, very many people worry about keeping their partner happy sexually, yet they are uncomfortable with their partner’s sexual appetite or demands. The following paragraphs may help you decide what you should be doing. Dr. Carnes describes sexual addiction as being on 3 levels.
“Level one behaviours have in common general cultural acceptance….. But each can be devastating when done compulsively”., He includes in this list masturbating, pornography, strip clubs and prostitutes. If you are in a relationship with a level one sex addict you may feel that you are less than your partner needs, this can be very damaging for your sense of self worth and self esteem.
“Level two behaviours will infringe the law.they include, inappropriate sexual advances, exhibitionism, indecent telephone calls and voyeurism”.
“Level three behaviours are generally more severe and are illegal, perpetrators when caught will be jailed, these behaviours include, child abuse, incest, rape, sadomasochism and sexual torture”.
This is a bit stronger than the material I usually publish on this site, however, I have recently come across one or two women who have told me that they feel under pressure to “keep their partner happy”. As far as I am concerned, if you are not happy to comply with the wishes or desires of your partner, he / she has no right to force you to do anything that you are uncomfortable with. If they truly love and respect you, they will want to co-operate with you to discover what works best for both of you. Anything less than that – it’s back to the running shoes! Seriously, a relationship is an equal partnership where both parties should feel safe, loved, valued and respected. If this isn’t happening in your relationship, you can try to work together to put things back on track, you’ll get all the advice you need in our e-book, “How to Improve Your Relationship,”
But if either one of you doesn’t see there is a problem or isn’t willing to change – then what are you hanging around for??



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