New Relationships – is the office party the best place….

New relationships are always exciting – so why do they so often turn out wrong, or just like the last one?
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This time of year is wonderful if you are a party animal, we are all out socialising and having fun, however, some people will start new relationships – simply because they met someone new at the office party. Is that the best way?

What do you do to prepare for a new relationship?

• Do you have a ‘shopping list’ of the qualities you look for in a new partner?

• Do you just blunder in blindly and deal with whatever comes along?

• Do you just hope it’s going to turn out to be what you want?
Relationships, like lots of other things work best if you plan ahead! I know, that doesn’t sound the least bit romantic, but having a broken heart isn’t romantic either.

You will find the right person to share your life with – if you know what you are looking for.

Think of all the people you have dated – or lived with, be brutal, write down what you liked and what you didn’t like and why you think it went wrong.

From your list of ‘likes’ pick the ones that are most important – i.e. must haves, then pick ‘would like to have’, then would, be nice but not important.

• e.g. Your must have list might contain things like,
• must treat me with respect.
• must have a sense of humour
• must want to have children etc,
the next list might be about things like,
• would be nice if he /she could sing
• would be nice if he / she would give me a massage etc.,
then the others might be
• would bring home flowers occasionally,
• would arrange a surprise meal out
• would arrange to have my car cleaned etc.,
Obviously these lists are just an example, but you can see where we are going with this. If you know the qualities you want in a partner, then you know what to look for and you can weed out the ‘charming but unsuitable’ candidates very early on in the process.

Other things to look out for are,
• controlling behaviour,
• evasiveness, closed about past life,
• are they reluctant to have you meet their friends and family – that usually means they have something to hide!
Reliability – how soon into this new relationship do they let you down or change the plan.
Are they comfortable discussing issues like money, contraception, feelings, how they manage things when they are angry.

If a new relationship is going to be successful it needs to be honest from the start and both parties need to be able to talk about issues that concern them with out fear of ridicule or rejection.

So why did your previous relationships go wrong?
• you started arguing?
• he / she began to irritate you?
• one of you started to ‘be busy’
• you didn’t agree about how the chores should be shared –

Look out for the next e-book on this site – “It’s All About Relationships!”

Meantime, join our members area and get your questions answered,



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