Sex and School Girls

Sex and School Girls.

In one of my previous positions I had responsibility for providing education for pregnant school girls.

Mostly these girls were around 16 or 17 years old but some were as young as 13. Some stayed in regular class until they began to show, others dropped out of class as soon as they discovered they were pregnant.
I use the word discovered because as you would guess none of these pregnancies were planned.

Some of the girls coped, some didn’t, some families coped some didn’t, only in two cases out of 74 did the young father stick by the girl and his child – what does that say?

In a few cases the girls were pregnant as a result of abuse by a male in the family……….. that’s tragic. Fortunately in these cases the males were successfully prosecuted.

More recently a mother, just a young woman herself, asked me how she could best help her daughter. Her daughter, let’s call her Michelle, is desperate to be part of the ‘in crowd’, she has experienced cyber-bullying and changed schools because of it. She no longer has a cell phone, that makes her different for a start, so to be ‘in’ she is having sex with several of the boys in her new school.

Her mother is at her wits end, but doesn’t want to alienate her daughter, fully realizing that things could get worse. What do you do?

Firstly, make sure she doesn’t get pregnant. Family planning is free in most countries.
Secondly, make sure she is well and graphically informed about S.T.D’s
Thirdly, sit down with her and map out a few different life scenarios, e.g.
• You are pregnant, let’s make a plan of how the next 16 years are going to look for you. Arrange for her to spend time with a young mother with two or three children under school age. Yes, it is wonderful and rewarding to be a mother, but also very tiring, especially when you have no life experience of your own to call on.
• You have contracted an S.T.D, hopefully not AIDS, how will you get treatment. Who will you have to talk to, will you be able to tell all the people you have had sex with that they may have caught something – and will they be able to tell all the people they have had sex with that they are at risk too. This is not an unusual case, some young people in their teens are very promiscuous.
• You have sex with two or three different people very few weeks, what do you think they are saying about you?
• When you meet someone that you really care about how will you tell them that you have already had 20 sexual partners? – Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore…
• Try to get her involved in activities or groups where she will gain confidence and make friends who have similar interests – other than sex!
• Spend time with her, it is surprising how many teenagers say they would like to spend more time with their parents. Plan to do fun things together at the weekends and some evenings – it needn’t cost a lot of money. Let her have girlfriends to stay at your house – at least you know where and what is going on!

If you have experienced a school girl pregnancy or you are close to someone that has and you have some good advice to pass on please leave a comment.
All comments will be read and the most useful posted here on the blog.

Meantime, take care of your daughters, and girls – be careful, you are worth more than casual sex.

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